You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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