if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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