What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
how drunk are you?
Several
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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