She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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