can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize