I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
