currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
