so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
