I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
