My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the condom got lost in my hair
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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