that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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