so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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