Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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