All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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