I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
