is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
