I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
