Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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