me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
