I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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