if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
