so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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