its not stalking. its research.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
