quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
