We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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