You just made me feel so damn special
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
