i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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