In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
