my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
