Your tits are I can't wait for
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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