He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
