sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
