I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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