We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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