i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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