oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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