Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
