We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
