The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
