pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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