watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
