Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
