No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
