i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
