i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
