literally had 100 drinks last night.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
