I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
