the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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