I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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