I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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