i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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