A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you had me at cake vodka
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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