i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Only a mothe r could love this liver
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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