ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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