i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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