Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
