Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
