In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize