I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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