god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i think i scared a bird with my dick
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
this is an emotional support booty call
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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