Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Thank you for not boning my boss.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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