i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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