so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
