how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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