We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize