Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
