One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
