I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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