Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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