what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
